Yosemite

After a night of heavy drinking, the Parche bowling team "Star Stuff II" went on a trip to the wilds of Yosemite with wild hangovers!

Parche Torpedomen Terrorize Training Center
3-7 August 1981.  Mk 57 MOSS School, Keyport, Washington

The following story shall forever be legend.

The trip starts innocently enough, like all TAD trips. We, as good travelers, arrived at the airport in plenty of time for our flight, which was our secondary concern, primary target was the lounge. Hey, we're on TAD! So we sit in there and power load as many cold ones, shots, and mixed drinks as we can get in. By the way TMCM's blood pressure at this point is still in the green band. On to the plane, ooggleing as many women as we can and laughing quietly (yeah right). Once on the plane we set about to get our hands on as many of those little bottles as we can.

Unbeknownst to the rest of us, Henson wins the prize for sheer numbers. We drink for the entire flight to SeaTac. When the plane lands we have now moved to the obnoxious category. TMCM is still holding on, BP in the Green Band. Off to the rental car place. Now mind you, this was before the whole "gotta have a in shape Navy" thing was running amuck, so there were some of us who were on the larger side (myself, BJ, and Henson). What kind of car do they give us? A micro mini car, I think it was a Dodge something. Any way there is no way that all of us are going to fit into this thing so TMC Porter gets himself a car. We toss the luggage in his car and TM3 White goes along just to stay alive. So here is TMCM driving, (we offered but he declined our help in this matter), BJ is in the passenger seat and Kenson and I in the back. We are driving along and we are being complete assholes. Kenny is reaching up and hitting the seat release on BJ's seat causing him to fall into the back seat where Kenny promptly elbow smashes him. Now we are by the way driving down the road. We are starting to get some needle deflection on TMCM about now. Moving toward yellow area. TMCM is being quite calm about this but is wondering what the tinkling noise is he keeps hearing. It has been going on the whole way from the airport. Lo and behold he looks up just in time to see Kenny toss a little bottle of Chivas Regal (empty) out the window. We had a trail of little bottles all the way from SeaTac to Kitsap County. More needle deflection detected. Somehow we make it to the base.

We go to check into the barracks and we realize there is no way we want to be in the barracks. We want to be in hotel in town! So we are laying cash money on the counter for this stupid cunt to stamp our orders for 'no room' at the inn. We must have had $500 sitting there. But she wasn't budging. So we get our crap and off to the barracks room we go. Get in the room, throw everything on the floor! Just like home! Now we are taking inventory with the barracks weenie, "one bookcase, good repair; one chair, good repair; etc.. Complete Inventory now off to the club! Continue drinking!

The next morning (we're hung over by the way), there is this awful noise piercing our brains. Turns out that some asshole decided that every barracks room needs an intercom, complete with annoying buzzer. TMCM is waiting, rather impatiently in the barracks office for his division that is nowhere in sight. So he has the watch ring our room. We are like trapped animals. This noise is driving us nuts. We have no idea where it is coming from, and want it to stop. Kenny finds the offending control box and is trying to operate it but is having no success. He grabs his trusty Buck knife and is going to cut the wires when the noise stops. Well we're up now, so we put on wrinkled uniforms and out the door we go. 

We walk into the barracks office and there is TMCM. We can tell the BP needle is twitching ever higher. BJ grabs a stand up ashtray, opens the lid, pukes down it's throat, puts the lid back on. Needle really jumps. Off to TTF (Torpedo Training Facility) we go. TMCM has to check us in at the office and leaves us on the Quarterdeck. We flop into chairs exhausted, I don't know where it came from, but Henson produces a beer. We lasted about three minutes in the place and they sent us off to Keyport for training.

We spend the next three days constantly shit-faced. TMCM solidly in the yellow band now moving to the red zone. He tried to hide from us in the CPO club, but we found him. More needle deflection. We tried to borrow the car. More needle deflection. Then we hung out with him in the CPO club for awhile with his CPO  buddies. Even more needle deflection.

The last day we are there we are in the deli actually having solid food. I have the shakes so bad I can hardly hold on to the sandwich. White, who by the way was a pretty boy, is telling us about all of the women he has been with. BJ is going to kill him if only he can focus long enough. TMC Porter is getting ready to eat a hot dog he ordered and Henson is watching him like a hawk. Just as he puts the hot dog in his mouth, Kenny makes this moan along the lines of "Ohhhhh Baby". I spit out my food, BJ starts to choke and then spits his out. We are laughing so hard that we are completely out of control. 

TMCM IN THE RED !!!!

TMCM turns to Henson and spoken with Texas accent says, "Henson, what the hell do you think you're doing? Have you lost your mind?". We are dying in there, people are staring, Ollie North is on the TV telling Congress to fuck off, and TMCM is weighing the options of what happens to him if he kills every one of us. I don't think we were spared by much of a vote margin.

This, by the way was,

 THE LAST TAD TRIP WE WERE ALLOWED TO TAKE TOGETHER.

Tom Hayter TM2(SS) 

1982 Vallejo Whale Boat Regatta
Team Parche

Back: Ron Soller, Greg Williamson, Dave Fox, Mark Quinlin, 
Wayne Pickett, Bob Holman
Front: Allen Ward, Lee Johnson, Trent Colvin, Joe Berri

Boat Nickname's

I thought I would try to recall nicknames from people from the boat in our time frame (1974-1984) and list them all here. If my feeble mind forgot any, let me know, and I will add them. 

Can you identify the bearers of these nicknames?

When you see a man wearing those silver dolphins you are seeing an 
exceptional man by any standards. -- Tom Parks - The Old Gringo

Click on year!

1982